4 Things that Happen When You Date Morgan LeFay
Morgan LeFay was the half-sister of King Arthur, a powerful sorceress, and Arthur’s enemy for most of his rule. And, by all accounts, she was fond of the boys, and they were fond of her. Unfortunately, while she had no end of lovers, they didn’t tend to last very long. Here’s what happens when you date Morgan LeFay.
1. She tries to kill you.
When Morgan was a teenager, her step-father Uther Pendragon married her off to Uriens, king of Gore (or Rheged or Northgales, depending on your mythological persuasion). As with most marriages at the time, there was a considerable age difference, and it appears the two were at ideological loggerheads also i.e. Morgan was not feeling Arthur as king, while Uriens was a total fanboy for him after his defeat in the early rebellions.
One day Morgan tried to off Arthur with a magic boat, but Uriens got in the way. This pissed her off so much she tried to introduce him to the business end of his own sword while he was sleeping. Their son Yvain conveniently (or inconveniently, if you’re Morgan) walked in and stopped her from hacking off Uriens’ head. He made her promise to lay off her spousicide and take herself off, which she did.
2. Your cousin breaks you up
When she was welcome at Arthur’s court (before all her attempts to kill him) Morgan was involved with Queen Guinevere’s cousin Guiomar. But Guinevere decided enough was enough. She told Guiomar to dump Morgan -their affair was bringing shame on the family and all that. Morgan was sent packing from Camelot, sparking her long dislike of Guinevere.
3. You probably have to fight to the death
Having been humiliated by Arthur’s wife, Morgan amped up her attempts to boot him from Britain’s throne. She decided that her new bae Accalon should be king, and the best way for him to do that was to beat Arthur in a duel. But she also knew Arthur had a magic sword which ensured no man could best him. So she crept into Arthur’s room and stole it, replacing it with a copy, and gave Excalibur to Accalon. However, Arthur was still a better fighter and destroyed him. Angry he had killed Accalon, Morgan stole Arthur’s scabbard, which was also enchanted, and high-tailed it out of there. Arthur’s men nearly caught up to her, so she chucked it into a lake to make sure nobody could have it.
4. You get kidnapped
Evidently, the sub-Roman version of Tinder wasn’t working for Morgan, so she decided that the best way for her to quench her thirst was with some good ol’ fashioned kidnap. Lancelot was her flavour of the month, and her and her best mate Queen Sebile lock him up in their castle, and he must choose which of them to get jiggy with. Answer: neither. Lancelot is still a bit of a charmer at this point, so he persuades one their maidservants to help him escape.
However, the thirst was still real for both Morgan and Sebile, so they decide to try their plan again, on Sir Hector de Maris, Sir Lancelot (again), Sir Alexander, Sir Lancelot (missing the hint here Morgan), Sir Lancelot (seriously?) and Sir Lancelot (points for effort). They also have a go at the widower Berengier, but this causes serious divisions between the BFFs, leading to a smackdown from Sebile that leaves Morgan nearly dead. But what’s a little assault and battery between besties? The two are friends again by the next tale, ready to kidnap another man.
Would you date Morgan LeFay? Do you think she’s desperate, or just gets a bad rap? Let me know in the comments below!